oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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