Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
