Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
