I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
