carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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