Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
