Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
