Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
