I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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