I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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