Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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