Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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