i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Boobs speak an international language.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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