I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
