they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
