She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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