The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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