real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so that wasnt chicken after all
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
