we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
