i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
