he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
