3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
