theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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