So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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