whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
