are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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