I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
