May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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