i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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