Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
