dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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