Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
