My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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