put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
