If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
