Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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