just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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