Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
