Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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