so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
