Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
