dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
