i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
