So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
