Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
