I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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