i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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