Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
