My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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