Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
