It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
