Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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