Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
