somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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